What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
"It's wine o'clock."
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
If you are ever babysitting a cherry, remember that their favorite cartoon is Tom And Cherry.
So I was standing in the grocery store comparing the prices of a couple packs of hummus when my roommate came up to me and suggest the off brand roasted red pepper kind to which I replied:
"Ya, I'm not really sure about that brand. They seem to be very hit and hummus for me."
He was not impressed.
The young lady had to throw her toaster in the trash. She was diagnosed as black-toast intolerant.
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
What’s sweet and goes woof?
Pupcakes!
I was surprised at the number of onions needed for this dish- it calls for shallot of onions.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!