What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
Do you know what is so special about the alphabet soup of Twitter? It only allows 140 letters.
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
"You can't sip with us."
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? A; Because he heard the cakes were rich.
Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
I love you a tot!
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
How many tacos can an octopus eat?
Ten tacos.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 3.14159265
Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...
Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What kind of potatoes are in the best shape? Hash browns; they’re totally shredded!
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What did Gorgonzola say to Cheddar? Lookin' Sharp.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!