I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
What do you drink before you audition for "The Voice" ? Tea-Lo Green
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
What’s worse than finding a worm in your pear?
Finding half a worm.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Why was the white wine's off-beat pun so boo-ed?
Because it was too corky.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym? Hard core.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
Potato puns are a-peeling.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
In a wine cabernet.
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
What do you do when a pickle wants to play cards?
Dill'em in.