Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
A musical strawberry jam that knows how to play the trumpet is called Tooty fruity.
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
Apples are red. Grapes are blue. Pineapples are sweet. And so are you.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!
What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby? An Appletini.
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
You consomme out of him.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
Why have a mer little when you can have a merlot?
What's so special about twitter alphabet soup? It only has 140 letters.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?