Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
How do you make sweet corn?
You whisper sweet nothings in its ear!
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What did the Apple say to the lemon & lime when he found out they were correct?
Yeah, I guess you’re Sprite
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
What is the only way one does not have to cry while cutting onions? They simply don't have to form emotional bonds with it.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.
Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.
Child: Yea...
Dad: Then why is there only one?
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
My wife came home angry from the gynecologist after he told her she had to stop using lemon douche
She's been such a sour puss about it.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
"Sip, sip hooray."
What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?
An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
"Alcohol you later."
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.