What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
Did you hear about the corn stalk that changed careers?
He went into a different field!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
I had lunch once with a chess player at a restaurant with checked tablecloths. It took him 3 hours to pass me the salt.
Time to celery-brate.
I don't like cutting up a peach. I think it's because of the pits.
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
I've just got my hand stuck in a jar of gherkins and I can't get it out.
I'm in a right pickle!
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
Where does Thor grow his vegetables?
In his Asgarden.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
When the peanut eating diet patient gained weight he went to his doctor to complain. The doctor asked him what he had been eating. The patient said he was eating what his doctor recommended, a nut-rious diet.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
Having chicken broth before the game was a sure shot way to maintain energy for the Soup-er Bowl.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
What did the baby corn call his dad?
Pop corn!
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
A farmer complained that he didn't have enough fruit to make a living.
I told him he needs to grow a pear.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
What did the pizza say when it asked the topping out on a date?
I never sausage a beautiful face.