Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
The peach couple from school is totally in love. They seem so perfect for peach other.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
My friend: *Throws salt at me*
Me: Don’t assault me!
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
What do you call a pear in a compressor?
Pear pressure!
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Q: Why did the cherry stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you?
Slice to meet you.
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
The fruit started to stutter as it was suffering from peach deterioration.
A farmer complained that he didn't have enough fruit to make a living.
I told him he needs to grow a pear.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.