Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
"Will you accept this rosé?"
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
I think therefore I yam.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
What is the smallest onion known as? It is known as an electronion.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
How does a vampire make tea? With a used tampon.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What do citrus fruits use to get dates?
Pickup limes.
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
Why does the lettuce always win the bodybuilding competition?
Cuz it starts a head and is usually shredded.
Keep calm and carrot on.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Did you hear about the banana who went to the doctor's because he wasn't peeling very well?
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.