I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are on the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
The healthy soup recipe was suggested to us by the nutritionist. It soup-erseded the old unhealthy creamy soup we used to have for dinner.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
What did the boss say to his pizza during their meeting?
There’s mushroom for improvement.
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
What do the peanuts and walnuts have in common? They are both nuts.
An owner of a pizza shop has just been found dead covered with pineapple, ham, mushrooms, and pepperoni. Word is that he topped himself.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
I had a salad pun, but I tossed it
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.