Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
Predictive Text
It's the scurge of the hummus rice.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?
It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
Wife told me to grow a pear.
I did. It tasted delicious.
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
Why did the banana go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.