Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
What would a peach say to its girlfriend or boyfriend? – “You will always have a peach of my heart, baby!”
I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
Why do farmers make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are corny!
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
If we cross lobster bisque and Elon Musk, what we have is a soup-er car
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Why do banana's do so well on the dating scene? Because they have Appeal!
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
Tennis matches and strawberry jam have one thing in common. Cons-serve.
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
My decision to become a Hindu was a missed steak
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Cherry pie can be a bit aggressive. Rumor has it they go around saying, “Hey! You want a piece of me?”
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
"Sip, sip hooray."