What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
"Partners in wine."
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
The only type of berry you will ever find in a barn is a straw-berry.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes!
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
Why did the farmer feed his pigs a mixture of sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce? He wanted sweet and sour pork.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?
Cardiac arrest.
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
What did the Soup Nazi say to the canine? What Soup Dawg.
Q: Where do fruits manufacture their money?
A: Peach Mint.
What a spud muffin.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt? An outboard apple.
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.