How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
What do they do when the fruit educator is sick? They bring in a substitute peacher.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
I watched a documentary about corn fields
It was really quite amaizeing
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
I yam what I yam.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
"Sip happens."
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
Join us for a slice of fun.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
Why are lemons safer than limes?
There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.
How far can a mango,
If he's got a license but doesn't avocado ?
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.