What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
How did the fruit get to Hawaii? The pineapple express.
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??
Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
What do fruits do when they are avoiding a problem? They cherry their heads in the sand.
How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?
He mustard up the courage.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
I just caught a walking pear tree...
In my Pear Ent trap.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
What is the best part of Valentine’s day?
The day after, when all the chocolate goes on sale.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
A carrot went to a football game.
Wonder who it was rooting for.
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
Why are walnuts the best secret keepers? They walnut say anything to anyone.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.