Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Why do the French eat snails? They dislike fast food.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
What is the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and a cow that produces chocolate milk?
A mootation
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
I made some fish tacos last night....
But they just ignored them and swam away.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
What is a ghosts favorite soup? Scream of Broccoli.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
I love you a tot!
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!