What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
Where's a pickle's favorite place to go in London?
Pickle-dilly Square.
What did bacon say to tomato? Lettuce get together.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.
Why was the orange skeptical of everyone around him?
He was planted with a seed of doubt.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
Did you know that bread that you make into buns is always relaxed? Yes, they just like to roll with it.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
My business that sells strawberry juice has gone into liquidation
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
You can never make a crumble with just 3.14 strawberries because that would make a pi.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
Predictive Text
It's the scurge of the hummus rice.
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
Once in a Blue Moon.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.