What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
What do you call two peas in a pod?
Peepee
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
Why did the farmer decide not to buy an extra phone? It was because he already had one for onion rings.
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said I was jammed.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? Because he heard the cakes were rich.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad
But there was none Romaine-ing.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
Have you ever seen the episode of VeggieTales directed by Tarantino?
It’s called Mango Unchained.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
What's yellow and always points to the north? A magnetic banana.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.