How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
Did you hear about the banana who went to the doctor's because he wasn't peeling very well?
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
There’s muffin I wouldn’t do for breakfast.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
I love you from my head tomato
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
I came across a man who was eating strawberries at the bank. He told me he wanted to eat rich food.
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
What is the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and a cow that produces chocolate milk?
A mootation
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
Why shouldn't you shop at the Banana Republic? Because the employees look like a bunch of dicks.
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.