I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
What do they do when the fruit educator is sick? They bring in a substitute peacher.
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
Because it was marble cake!
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
The soup was too spicy to be had by us. It was the borscht soup I had ever had.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
I didn’t have a map of the corn maze, so I had to play it by ear.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.