Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
"You're the wine that I want."
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby? An Appletini.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
Where’s the best place to find out information about pistachios?
The inter-nut.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
"On cloud wine."
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
I've been on a real hummus kick lately, so as I came home from work tonight, my sister says to me "You're always bringing home hummus now." To which I replied, "Hummus where the heart is!"
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Do you know what you call it when you place beef between two slices of bread? You get a bull-only sandwich.
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
Why did the squirrel go to kola-nary school? Because it had pines to be a chef.
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
Why did black chocolate cry over his wine glass?
Because it was his bitter half.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
They’re too corny
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”