Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
Where’s the best place to find out information about pistachios?
The inter-nut.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes!
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
I miss you! I’ll see you tater!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!