Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
What do French cherry parents say to their little cherries at home? You are mon cherry.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
What song was the peach listening to? 'Stronger with Peach Tear'.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
What is a butcher’s favorite Elvis Presley song? Love Meat Tenders.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
Why was the well done steak a terrible gossip? It wasn't juicy enough!
Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?
Because the sauce ages.
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
And what should every barista say to their customers? Have a brew-tiful day.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
There’s a great new rock and roll cover artist doing the rounds at the moment – his name is Chuck Cherry.
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
What is green and brown and crawls through the grass? A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
I lost one pea from my plate at dinner the other day. It was an escape-pea.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
"Rosé all day."
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.