What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
Why did the man continue to eat whole peaches? Because he has a bottomless pit.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
Who is the superhero who loves to have soup all the time? Souper-man.
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
What do you call a field full of epileptic lettuce ?
Seizure Salad
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
What's the difference between a bipolar person and a loft full of lemons?
One's a bit erratic and the other's a bitter attic.
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What kind of birthday cake do they serve in heaven?
Angel food cake.
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
What kind of cookies do vulcans love? Spockolate chips.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
Predictive Text
It's the scurge of the hummus rice.
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
What’s the healthiest part of a donut?
The middle.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”