Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
What’s a potatoes favorite horror movie? The Silence of the Yams.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
Why does everyone want ice cream to be on their team?
Because with them, anything is popsicle.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
I saw a sign earlier that said, "Free Range Eggs."
I've never heard of Range Eggs before but at least they were free so I took some.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What type of bar is kid friendly?
A chocolate bar.
What are pig criminals known for? Pigpockets.
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
What is the suckiest fruit?
A strawberry.
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
A musical strawberry jam that knows how to play the trumpet is called Tooty fruity.
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
What’s the difference between a delivery driver and the pizza they deliver?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
The bowl of soup you bought yesterday from the Chinese restaurant was souper terrible.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns! What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
My friend mashed up some cherries on halloween and said they were blood. I was cherry-fied!