You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
What a spud muffin.
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
I got my paycheck with a lemon slice on it today...
turned out my ex-wife was garnishing my wages.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
What song do young peaches love listening to? 'Papa don't peach'.
What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?
Apple Juice.
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Why don’t most people enjoy jokes about taco shells?
They’re too corny
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
Time to celery-brate.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys? A bunch of idiots.
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
The reason he went smiling all the way to the jail is because the judge sentenced him to a life behind chocolate bars.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.