What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
What did the paprika tell the salt around Christmas?
Seasonings greetings.
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
What do you call a fruity pop star? Katy Peary.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
How do you know it's cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."