"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
I don’t wanna taco ‘bout it
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
Why do bananas have to wear sunscreen?
Because they peel.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
I had no clue how much lettuce to buy, so I called my wife from the grocery store.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Do you know what is so special about the alphabet soup of Twitter? It only allows 140 letters.
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.