How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
“A really bad headache!”
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Sauvign-yawn blanc!
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
Why do banana's do so well on the dating scene? Because they have Appeal!
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What is the best way to make gold soup? By adding 22 carrots in it.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
Who is the corniest baseball player of all time?
Ty Cobb!
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
I am a huge fan of local cuisine, and cooking is my soup-er power!
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.