Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
What type of person doesn’t like pizza?
A weir-dough.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
Back in the early 2010s, the peach children loved to flock around to listen to Peach Pit.
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.