This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What did the Egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take awhile to get me hard I just got layed by some chick!
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
They call themselves the Sip-ranos!
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
How sweet is only for girls?
Her-shey’s kisses.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
"Hakuna Moscato. It means drink wine."
The man on the table found hair in his soup. He said in rage "I will take the chef to soup-reme court".
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Apparently, they're long enough already.
What kind of cookies do vulcans love? Spockolate chips.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
You consomme out of him.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.