What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures.
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
Q: How do you call a magic berry?
A: Cherry Potter.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes? A medi-tator.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
Why do hens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.