What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
Apparently there's a fruit that is naturally radioactive.
I think that's bananas!
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
What do you call who has been electrocuted? You call it anion.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
There’s muffin I wouldn’t do for breakfast.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
What type of person doesn’t like pizza?
A weir-dough.
Why do we love wine puns?
Because they're grape!
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.