How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
What's the best way to get King Kong to sit up and beg? Wave a two-ton banana in front of his nose.
My decision to become a Hindu was a missed steak
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What do you call fake oranges?
“Pulp Fiction”
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
This foundation is rock salad.
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What do the ducks have for dinner? They have Quackers and soup.
What's grandma's favorite fruit?
a Ba-nana.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
Why does the lettuce always win the bodybuilding competition?
Cuz it starts a head and is usually shredded.
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.