In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
Today, I am eating a bun filled with pineapple and ham for my dinner. That is Hawaii roll.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
It’s common for people with heartbreaks to crumble.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you?
Slice to meet you.
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...
Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby? An Appletini.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
We are thinking of spending the night at the peach house, by the shore.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
"Say you'll be wine."
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
"You had me at merlot."
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.