What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
If you want day-old soup, then come back here tomorrow!
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?
Desserted
Where’s the best place to find out information about pistachios?
The inter-nut.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?
He mustard up the courage.
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
I used to work at a nut farm
The work conditions were great but the salary was peanuts
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
What do two tomatoes do after not seeing each other for a long period of time?
They ketchup.