What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
An owner of a pizza shop has just been found dead covered with pineapple, ham, mushrooms, and pepperoni. Word is that he topped himself.
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...
You're an acidic Jew.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?
Apple Juice.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!