Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
Did you know you can make a really good music player out of a cherry cake? It’s called a gateau blaster.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
The cookie monster couldn’t make his bed, why? Because he couldn’t find his cookie sheets.
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
Who answers the door at the peanut mansion?
The peanut butler.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
Someone who eats bananas must like them a whole bunch.
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.