What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
What do you call a pine-nut in an apple costume? A pine-apple.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake!
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
A burglar broke into my house and took all my condiments, now I'm Spiceless in Seattle.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
What do you call corn that joins the army?
Kernel.
Oranges rarely pass driving tests, this is because they keep on peeling out.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
Why’d the lettuce blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
One of the most courageous souls in the world is anybody who looks at a pineapple and thinks that “I bet I would eat it.”
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
Q: Why was the cherry by himself?
A: Because the banana split.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
The farmer went nuts because he was told it’s more profitable that way compared to other crops.
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!