What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
What's a coffee's favorite karaoke song? Hit Me With your Best Shot.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!