Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
How did the hotdog ask the ketchup out?
He mustard up the courage.
Why does Britain like tea so much?
Because tea leaves.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
Everybody romaine calm.
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
You consomme out of him.
If you are ever babysitting a cherry, remember that their favorite cartoon is Tom And Cherry.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
My local ice cream man was found dead in his garage covered in strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands.
Police believe he topped himself.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
I hope for world peas.
My dad said he wanted to steal a pumpkin
but all the stores were well-gourded.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
I made some fish tacos last night....
But they just ignored them and swam away.
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.