The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple. What did the apple say to the apple pie? "You've got some crust."
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
How do you know you in "love" with spicy food? After getting to third basil.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
How is bacon like southern Europe?
It's got a lot of Greece in it.
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
If you can't get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
My friend wanted me to take care of his extremely fragile pumpkin.
I told him I'd gourd it with my life.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
You and I make a deluxe combo.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
Why did the hummus blush?
Because it saw a chickpea!
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
Why are lemons safer than limes?
There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!