Why do farmers make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are corny!
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
That wide loaf has a decent bread-th. Nice.
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
Wondering about a peach's favorite sci-fi novel? It's 'When You Peach Me'.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.
You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
Why should you live a pineapple life? Because Life is sweet.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
The oranges have great eyesight because they always keep their eyes peeled.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!