I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
A narwhal is just a tuna-corn.
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
If a crocodile makes shoes, what can you make out of a banana?
Slippers!
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
How do the Vietnamese like their soup? Purrrrrfect.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
The soup that she cooks is so thick that the kitchen would go around when she stirs it.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
Why did the man continue to eat whole peaches? Because he has a bottomless pit.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
“Mom, what do we have for this dinner?” – “I cannot tell you. It is a little soup-prise, son!”
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
"Great minds drink alike."
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
Wondering about a peach's favorite sci-fi novel? It's 'When You Peach Me'.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.