What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
When you finish the lemons that life gives you;
Sublime.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake!
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
I recently got a new job as a golf caddy, but I was fired after less than an hour.
The guy asked me for a sand wedge. I don't think he likes pickle.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
If Santa made love to a pickle, what would they call their baby?
Claussen.
It is a bad film because good ones tend to have created atop day-old soup.
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
Challah if you see me in the streets. Will do.
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.