Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Q: Why can’t oranges be pirates?
A: They don’t get scurvy.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
You and I make a deluxe combo.
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
Things went pour-ably wrong.
Wife told me to grow a pear.
I did. It tasted delicious.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school? For the Soup-erintendent.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
I love you a tot!
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!