Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Why did black chocolate cry over his wine glass?
Because it was his bitter half.
What does a hippy cherry wear to a festival? A pie dye T-shirt.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
Chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat they just want to read the pepper and spend thyme with the kids.
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
I saw a real rob-bbery today. It happened right before my berry eyes.
What do you call pears with no ears?
Deaf.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
What's the difference between a pickle and a psychiatrist?
If you don't know, you ought to stop talking to your pickle!
"Back that glass up."
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
Berries are the most fashionista of the fruits, they can really cherry off the wildest outfits.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?
Apple Juice.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
When would an apple be not an apple? When it is a pineapple!
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!