“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
Have you ever seen the episode of VeggieTales directed by Tarantino?
It’s called Mango Unchained.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
"Alcohol you later."
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
What is a monster's favorite food? Ghoul scout cookies.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
What type of person doesn’t like pizza?
A weir-dough.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
This guy walks into the doctor's office with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
Those people are preparing peach gelato because they want to demonstrate their rights to freeze peach!
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.