What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
The watermelon plant didn’t like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A tea party.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
What is the similarity between a superhero and an onion? They both have layers.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?
Apple Juice.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
Donut even think about taking another donut!
What kind of keys do kids like to carry? Cookies!
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
"Adulting makes me wine."
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
An onion just told me a joke.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.