Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
Not only did I have a good time at Taco Bell
I had a Baja Blast
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
I caught my sister click and post a picture of the soupy noodles yesterday. She was actively instagramen.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
I used to work at a nut farm
The work conditions were great but the salary was peanuts
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
I love you from my head tomato
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
I was straining some old noodles but eventually, I chickened out. It was such a broth-er.
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
What does a pizza wear to smell good?
Calzogne.
The innocent blueberry got easily framed for the crime because the evidence was a strawberry plant.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
What is the national fruit of Afghanistan?
Talibanana.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.