Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
When strawberries, blueberries or blackberries meet another berry they like and want to get married who do they go see?
The marionberry
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
What does a pizza wear to smell good?
Calzogne.
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
I heard they sent a beer into space, destined to leave the solar system. They called it Interstella Artois.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
A storefront that boasts a fruit pun, just peachy.
The healthy soup recipe was suggested to us by the nutritionist. It soup-erseded the old unhealthy creamy soup we used to have for dinner.
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What do you do if you see a blue banana? Try to cheer it up.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
Where do bugs go to watch the big game? Apple-Bees.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
Know what kind of cookies rich people love? Fortune cookies.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener
"I need to re-wine my life."
A musical strawberry jam that knows how to play the trumpet is called Tooty fruity.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!