What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
What do you call a communist onion? You call it a red onion.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
How does a hen leave its house?
Through the eggs-it.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
Q: Why did the fruit go to the salon?
A: To peach her hair blonde.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad to see me?
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio?
A Guackie-talkie
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside? A banana dressed up as a cucumber !
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
Where's a pickle's favorite place to go in London?
Pickle-dilly Square.
Why did the butter keep talking? Because he felt like he was really on a roll.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.