I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
What do you do when you try to bake a cherry pie for the first time and it doesn't turn out so well? Just wait for the second bite of the cherry.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
I never count my chickens before they're hatched.
Because they're eggs.
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
When the onion band covered the song Waka Waka by Shakira, they started calling the song 'Walla Walla'.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad
But there was none Romaine-ing.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
Soft fruits make really supportive parents. Whenever their youngsters fail at something, they just smile and say “Have another bite at the cherry.”
Do you know which the most favourite type of fruit of trees is? The pine – apple.
Where do you most often find onions having a drink? In the salad bar.