What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
It is a bad film because good ones tend to have created atop day-old soup.
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What do we get when we mix an iPhone and a Christmas tree? A pine – apple!
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?
Cardiac arrest.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste.
Did you know that if you poured salt on a cat's tail it will fall off?
It's true! And if you pour pepper on a cat's tail, the pepper will also fall off.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
How can you make a computer system cry? Delete his cookies.
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
Someone asked me recently why I don't put any ketchup or mustard on my hotdog
And I told them it's because I just wanna relish it.
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
When the peanut eating diet patient gained weight he went to his doctor to complain. The doctor asked him what he had been eating. The patient said he was eating what his doctor recommended, a nut-rious diet.
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
Wondering about a peach's favorite sci-fi novel? It's 'When You Peach Me'.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
"Time to wine down."
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
You’re the tater to my tot. I miss you a lot!
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.