How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
The baby strawberries were berry upset when they heard that both their parents were in the jam.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
What happened when a farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel, and a pitbull? He got a hot-diggity-dog.
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
Udon even know how to cook this udon recipe. Fortunately, I can teach you.
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
Q: Why does the cherry have a hard time getting along with others?
A: It has crust issues.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.