If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
What’s worse than finding a worm in your pear?
Finding half a worm.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?
Michael Gourdan.
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Why do people love juicy pineapple? Because it “ripens” their day.
What does a good spice rack help you win? The Hunger Games.
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
I must confess that I've started stealing vegetables from the local grocery...
I can't help it! I get to the store and I have to take a leek!
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
How do you get a musician off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
When I took a break from having soup, my mom said "Carry on, why did you stoup?"
I heard they sent a beer into space, destined to leave the solar system. They called it Interstella Artois.
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.