What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
I'm the pun King of Halloween.
What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?
Because they're in-bred.
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
Have a s-mash-ing birthday!
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
My mother is so fastidious that she eats her alphabet soup in the alphabetical order.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
Why did the hare go to the taco truck?
He couldn't beat the tortas.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
Eggs - the original boneless chicken.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
How did the coconut hit on the pineapple? It said ” you are the pina to my colada.”
I always wondered why the watermelon loving librarian never touched any of the books; turns out she’d red them all.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
The only type of berry you will ever find in a barn is a straw-berry.
Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
My girlfriend was seasoning the soup. I asked, "What spice is that?", and she replied "Sage".
I said, "Sounds wise".
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.