Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
I yam what I yam.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
"Great minds drink alike."
Taco Bell overcooked my food
I asked for a brrrr-ito and an en-chill-ata.
Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in Cuba for $1.50, but in Jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?
Those are the pie rates of the Carribean.
Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
Did I invite you to the Barbecue?
Then why are you all up in my grill?
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
Why does Satan not eat the bread part of the pizza?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
I got my paycheck with a lemon slice on it today...
turned out my ex-wife was garnishing my wages.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
An Native American drank 100 cups of tea.
Next day they found him dead in his tea pee.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
How did the fruit get to Hawaii? The pineapple express.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
A new bakery in town began ding extremely well. They said that business was definitely on the rise.
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
"Say you'll be wine."
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What's grandma's favorite fruit?
a Ba-nana.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.