In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
What is the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and a cow that produces chocolate milk?
A mootation
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
Why were the kids throwing flour and bread at their school? They wanted to rise to the occasion.
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
Sundae School.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
What do they do when the fruit educator is sick? They bring in a substitute peacher.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
If I buy you guacamole, will you sleep with me?
You must think I’m some kind of avocad-ho.
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
"Be kind, re-wine."
If you are ever babysitting a cherry, remember that their favorite cartoon is Tom And Cherry.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
What can a whole orange do that half an orange can never do?
“Look round!”
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
What do you call a dog who only eats garlic and onions?
A dog with a bark worse than its bite.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her...
Can't believe that chick pea'd herself.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie