How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
The jam bank went bankrupt because of the series of strobberies in the last quarter.
hat’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
Because the platypus both lays eggs and produces milk,
It is one of the few animals that can make its own custard.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
Before I ducked out to the shops, my wife asked me to put ketchup on the shipping list.
Now I can't read it.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
Dog Joke: What do you call a Collie with a mango on it's back?
Mango Lassie.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
It is a bad film because good ones tend to have created atop day-old soup.
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.