After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
What did the salt shaker say to the graint of salt? Why you INSALT MEEE.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette?
“They call it “Nico-tang”
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
My Ex Girlfriend stole my Hummus.
I told that chick, peace
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
"You're the wine that I want."
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What’s an apple’s favorite movie? Mr and Mr Smith.
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
My wife doesn't like spicy food and I think it's a cayenne shame.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
What happens to Germans when they eat too many lemons?
They become sour krauts.
Why do farmers make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are corny!
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!