just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
People say nothing rhymes with orange. It seems very strange to me.
Pre pear yourself for a bad pun.
Dad: Is that a pear?
*Dad points to pear on the kitchen counter.
Child: Yea...
Dad: Then why is there only one?
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
Cherries are the worst soft fruits to watch scary movies with. They spend the whole time hiding behind a cushion as they are cherrified.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street.
Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby Tomato starts lagging behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry.
Goes back and squishes him and says: "Ketchup."
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
What do you call a fat pumpkin?
A plumpkin!
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Did I invite you to the Barbecue?
Then why are you all up in my grill?
I always tend to forget the french word for strawberry sometimes. But, then I eventually remember the fraise.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
"Be kind, re-wine."
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
What do murderers drink? Cruel-tea.
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
One strawberry said to the other, “Were it not that you were so sweet, you wouldn’t have ended up in this jam.”
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
What do you drink with the Queen of England? Royal-Tea.
My local ice cream man was found dead in his garage covered in strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands.
Police believe he topped himself.
Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?
Because the sauce ages.