What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Do you know why it’s called almond milk?
Because nobody would buy it if it was called nut juice.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What did the apple teacher say to her student? Help me orange the chairs please!
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Where does a potato go to college? DeFry
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
What do you call a fruit that doesn't take s**t from anyone? The top banana.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
My boss accused me of "acting the monkey" at work.
I almost choked on my banana.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
To make them light and fluffy.
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
What do you call a cold little taco?
A brrr-ito.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.