What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
Why did the peanut take everything off its wall? It didn’t want any walnuts.
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
The soup chef changed the design of his menu. He said his new favorite font is Times New Ramen.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
I don’t know who became more famous, Sir Francis Bacon or his son
Chris P. Bacon
My heart is like an onion...
I'm never getting a discount organ transplant again
"No wine left behind."
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
You consomme out of him.
Why do Communists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer and a mop.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
"Love the wine you're with."
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
Did you hear what happened between the cook and the onion?
I think there was a fight. It got a little dicey and tears were shed.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.