The unluckiest berry in the group is the one that drew the short straw-berry.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
What’s an apple’s favorite movie? Mr and Mr Smith.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
What is the hippest kind of fruit? A bae-nae-nae.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
I hope for world peas.
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
"Time to wine down."
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make ? Slippers