A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
What did the paprika tell the salt around Christmas?
Seasonings greetings.
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
If you can't get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries.
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
Why did the banana fail his driving test? He kept peeling out.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
If mom leaves her alphabet soup on the stove and forgets about it, it would spell disaster.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
Why was the peach so sad at the funeral? It left a deep pit in its heart.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
My mother is so fastidious that she eats her alphabet soup in the alphabetical order.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
What did one nut say to the other?
“Cashew later.”
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.