In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
Pizza: the only time top-less isn't fun
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
In the corn maze, I felt like I was being stalked. It was earie.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
You say "easy peasy lemon squeezy"
... but I prefer "depressed stressed lemon zest."
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
Why does salt make everything taste better
Because it's sodi-yummm!
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Who is the corniest baseball player of all time?
Ty Cobb!
This foundation is rock salad.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it; then it's squash!
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.