What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
I've just invented a new Canadian beer
It's a form of I.P.Eh
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
When the baby onion was misbehaving, the father onion told it, "You better behave, you cheeky chops!"
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
"Rosé all day."
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
Some people prefer milk after it has churned. I guess they find it butter that way.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.
Now I can't find them. I think they've been mislaid.
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?
It tends to get stale.
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!