What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
Where's a pickle's favorite place to go in London?
Pickle-dilly Square.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
Did you hear about the lemons that got sick?
They got lime disease.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
I used to randomly steal beverages off people...
I stopped when I realized it wasn't my cup of tea
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
What does a pizza wear to smell good?
Calzogne.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
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What do you call a smart beer?
A Pilsnerd.
ALDI grocery stores have announced their new store brand peanuts.
ALDI’s nuts.
The pancake was quiet because it did not like to waffle.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
Why did the donut start going to therapy? It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole!
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
Did you hear the joke about the donut? Probably not, it was crummy!
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
My decision to become a Hindu was a missed steak
My mother is so fastidious that she eats her alphabet soup in the alphabetical order.
What do you call an evil lemon?
Sour On
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What drives cheese crazy?
That everyone around them is crackers.
What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water? A hesi-tater.
Some people say popcorn is hard to chew. There’s a kernel of truth to that.
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
I wasn’t sure if I ordered enough tacos from Taco Bell.
So I got a just in quesadilla.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
What did the pepperoni say to the cook?
You wanna pizza me?
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.