It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
"Personally, I like people who peach on time, and are always punctual," said the strawberry.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down?
Turnip over.
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs finger!
Soup is only musical when it is piping hot.
What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
What would Santa’s name be if he wore orange instead of red?
Fanta Claus.
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
"You're the wine that I want."
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet? She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."