What a spud muffin.
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
I saw a strawberry with a gun, robbing a man. I am guessing he was in a jam.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
What do you get when you use a cookie cutter shaped like a deer? Cookie doe!
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
If you are ever babysitting a cherry, remember that their favorite cartoon is Tom And Cherry.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
What do you get when you put the number 3.14 in the middle of the onions? You get o-pi-nions!
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
Although many other vegetables live above the ground, onions live underground. This is because they have many lairs.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
My friend: *Throws salt at me*
Me: Don’t assault me!
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
I steal my eggs from my next door neighbor.
I prefer them poached.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
Did you hear about the scientist that studied nectarines? He won the Nobel Peach Prize.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
You've really struck a gourd with me...
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
"Great minds drink alike."
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.