You’re wine in a million.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
This foundation is rock salad.
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
How did the pine propose to the apple? With a pineapple ring.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
What do teapots wear to a tea party? A T-shirt.
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
The Reds!
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
Why do girls scouts sell cookies? They wanna make a sweet first impression.
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
What's the opposite of Green Tea? Fat-Tea.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Why do Communists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
"Sip happens."
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt? An outboard apple.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas? They were empty.
The peach couple from school is totally in love. They seem so perfect for peach other.
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call a hot dog race? Wiener takes all.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
Everybody romaine calm.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”