What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
I saw a pun on chocolate bars but it wasn’t that fun
So I just snickered.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
What do you call a lazy spud? A couch potato.
What is the favorite punk band of onions? It is a band known as "Good Shallot"!
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What's yellow and writes? A ball-point banana.
What did one avocado half say to the other?
Without you, I’m empty inside!
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
When the peanut eating diet patient gained weight he went to his doctor to complain. The doctor asked him what he had been eating. The patient said he was eating what his doctor recommended, a nut-rious diet.
What do you give to a sick lemon?
lemonaid.
Why did the croissants take the donuts and bagels to Disneyland?
They thought it would be fun for the hole family.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
What did baby clock ask mama clock? Where's father Thyme.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
What pizza do dogs eat?
Puperoni.
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
"I need to re-wine my life."
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
"Thanks a brunch for the meal!", said the punny man when he sat to eat.
What do oranges have after a hard work out? Juice!
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
Why did one pineapple invite another to their party? Because they were real piner-pals.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
I tried to make my own condiments but, the recipes change so fast, it's hard to ketchup.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.