Why was the chef surprised that anyone like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
What is the suckiest fruit?
A strawberry.
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
"Thanks a brunch for the meal!", said the punny man when he sat to eat.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
What do you give to a sick lemon?
lemonaid.
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
Did you hear about the man who quit his job at a bakery? They said that it left him loathe of bread.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.