My girlfriend was seasoning the soup. I asked, "What spice is that?", and she replied "Sage".
I said, "Sounds wise".
At a restaurant, the peach said, "Hey, I would like a peach of cake for dessert, thank you!"
How do you know when a potato is high? When it looks baked!
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
Why was the ketchup feeling bad?
Because it had the squirts.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
What did mamma orange say to little orange after he spilled his milk? It’s no big peel!
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
Why does the cookie monster fear the gingerbread man? Because he’s one tough cookie.
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
What is a ghosts favorite soup? Scream of Broccoli.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
I love you a tot!
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
If we cross lobster bisque and Elon Musk, what we have is a soup-er car
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to pizza parties?
Because he’s such a fungi!
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
Do not eat that alphabet soup, or you will have a vowel movement.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
When banana growers are heart broken, what do they sing? What else but Peelings?
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo