Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
"Say you'll be wine."
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
People order potatoes a lot because they look a-peeling on the menu.
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.
Still can't get the last of that ketchup out.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
What do you call a banana who gets all the girls?
A banana smoothie.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
A restaurant server was fired on his first day of work for taking a woman’s salad.
He thought the manager said “seize her salad”.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
The baker just felt this incredible knead to make bread. That’s certainly the truth.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
Why does the lettuce always win the bodybuilding competition?
Cuz it starts a head and is usually shredded.
Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet? She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
Do you know why bread hates warm weather? It just makes things too toasty.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
"Adulting makes me wine."
My wife made gluten free, carb free, salt free spaghetti last night
It was not real food, it was an impasta.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur
Tyrannosourest Rex.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.