What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
A strawberry's favorite celebrity is Mary Berry.
Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?
Benedict Arnold Palmer
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
Are you a vegan?
'Cause I yam.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?
My pizza jokes can’t be topped!
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
Why was the girl staring at the carton of orange juice?
“It said concentrate.”
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
Do you know how to get a raise at the bread factory? Try buttering up to the boss.
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
Last night I dreamt I was swimming in a sea of oranges. I guess it was just a Fanta-sea!
Some cherry puns are just pit-i-ful.
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?
Cardiac arrest.
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
My wife asked me why I bought a pear tree.
I told her "what, you told me to grow a pear."
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
Everybody romaine calm.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.