When it started raining, I spotted a potato across the road pretty fast and I wondered what’s up? It wasn’t long before I saw a fork up ahead.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
What do cherries say to their best friends? You are cherrific!
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
I always knock on the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
Why did the banana go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
How does a vampire make tea? With a used tampon.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
He says to the doctor, "Help me Doc, what's the matter with me?"
The doctor replies, "That's easy. You're not eating properly."
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
I am a peach, and when my husband accompanies me, we are a pear.
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
What do you call a house that likes food? a Condoment!
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.