What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
Somehow they knew I wanted champagne. It was chilling.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
In some way, being a bowl of soup is like being a man. You are only blown when you are hot!
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Ever heard of French Donuts?
They’re the Beigne of my existence.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
Q: Where do fruits like to go on vacations?
A: To the peach.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
What was Valentine’s favorite dessert for the French cat?
Chocolate mousse
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
It's my first day on the fishing boat and everyone keeps asking if I've found my sea legs.
I'm not falling for it though. I know for a fact that seals don't lay eggs.
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.