What kind of tea do babies drink? Tit Tea.
What do you call fake oranges?
“Pulp Fiction”
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
Why did the lettuce stop dating the mushroom?
He though she was a pretty fungal, but didn't have mushroom on its schedule.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
What do you call corn that joins the army?
Kernel.
Is an argument between two vegans, still called a beef?
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
Have you ever seen the episode of VeggieTales directed by Tarantino?
It’s called Mango Unchained.
This corn is a little rough to the touch. Looks like a job for Kernel Sanders.
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
The reason orange juice doesn’t slide well on hard wood floors is Because of pulp friction.
What is a Malaysian chocolate factory called?
Oompa Lumpur
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
Wine puns. They're always in pour taste.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
I got my paycheck with a lemon slice on it today...
turned out my ex-wife was garnishing my wages.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.