Why do you always bring a bag of chips to a party? In queso emergency.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
"It's wine o'clock."
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer?
Because his wife told him to ice it!
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter’s dinner party?
“Nice spread!”
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef!
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
I was visiting my dear old Grandpa the other day when he said to me, "Let me give you a bit of advice. You can't make an omelette..."
"Without breaking eggs?" I finished for him.
"No. You can't make an omelette," he said, as he scraped it into the bin.
Where’s the best place to find out information about pistachios?
The inter-nut.
Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
I've got a really good vegetable pun.
I’d tell you but I’m worried you’d think it’s too corny.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Strawberries love delicious food. Their favorite is Jam-balaya.
Why did Bill's friend get covered in beer?
Because William Shakes Beer.
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.