"You can't sip with us."
What do you call a pine-nut in an apple costume? A pine-apple.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt? An outboard apple.
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
What's a woman and a tea bag got in common?
You don't know strong they are till you put them in hot water.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
What do oranges like to listen to?
Musical com-peel-ations.
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
Q: What’s red and invisible?
A: No cherries.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
Because wine snobs hate them!
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet. It won’t break for the first six.
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
You don't know jack-o-lantern
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
What do you call a sloppy Joe made with taco seasoned beef?
Sloppy José
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
What is the correct answer to Hummus?
A cow.
What do you call a pickle you got at a cheap price?
A sweet dill.