A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What's grandma's favorite fruit?
a Ba-nana.
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories. I was impressed but to her it was just small potatoes.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
So I was cleaning my spice cabinet...
and now I have a lot of thyme on my hands!
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
Why did the hare go to the taco truck?
He couldn't beat the tortas.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
What did the pinecone say to the pineapple? Nice to meet juice.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What's a vampire's most favorite fruit? It must be a neck-tarine peach.
What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
It hit despot.
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
I went to the backyard this morning and saw a bird of prey drinking a pumpkin spice latte.
It was a millennial falcon.
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."