My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
What do you get when you use a cookie cutter shaped like a deer? Cookie doe!
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
What is suns favourite chocolate bar?
A milky way
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What's so special about twitter alphabet soup? It only has 140 letters.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa. Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty? They had a baby, Ruth.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
Accidentally I spilt some tomato ketchup in my eye.
In Heinze sight, it was my mistake.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.
It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why? The orchard's on fire.
I got canned from a Orange juice factory...
Just couldn't concentrate.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
You better watch out before you play a game with any bread? Baguette ready to lose.
Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.