When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it; then it's squash!
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your pear?
Finding half a worm.
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
My DJ friend took my advice and simplified his salad recipe.
he dropped the beet.
One should always practice what they peach.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
Why do people love juicy pineapple? Because it “ripens” their day.
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!
What do we call two thousand pounds of Chinese soup? It is called won – ton!
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
So I was cleaning my spice cabinet...
and now I have a lot of thyme on my hands!
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
Why didn’t the pineapple fit in with the other fruit? Because it’s rough around the edges.
Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
Because they're de-vine!
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
I seem to have run out of tea...
What a catastrotea.
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.